…and that’s being generous!

I first received my manuscript back, a 160, single-spaced word document, back from my editor with her comments throughout the piece on a Saturday in May, and I dove right in.

“This isn’t so bad!” I thought. “I’m sure I can get this done by July.”

The editor gave construction suggestions of changes as well as some praise sprinkled in. The compliment sandwiches pushed me forward.

But then, I received her developmental review: a thirty-five-page document with breakdowns including potholes, character revamps, and ten pages that had every scene of what should stay, be improved, or tossed.

For this newbie write, this was intimidating!

It isn’t as if this is a ten-page paper about my trip to the zoo (hello middle school, I still don’t miss you), this was me needing to weave changes throughout 72,000 words. This included changing major plot lines, character flaws, and fixing my cringe-worthy description of ‘show don’t tell.’

So yes, the next day I mildly panicked when thinking of this monstrous mountain that I needed to climb with roller skates strapped to my feet.

“How in the world am I going to get through this? This will be like starting over,” I thought, wanting to bang my head on the desk for putting myself through this.

Only, it’s not starting over.

I’m not starting with a blank page. Rather, I must now weave the workings of a better novel into the words I’ve already written.

I came across videos on YouTube from my favorite author tubers and found that I’m for sure not alone in this ‘editing hell’ (their words, not mine). After some thought, I figured, I like to write, why is ‘editing writing’ any different?

Finding a push, even from people I don’t know, helped. One author said she went through her book thirty five times before it was published. Another said her first draft is always crappy and the magic happens in the rewriting process.

After a few pep talks to calm my panicked mind, I realized how good this challenge is. After all, the many phrases to describe the ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ stage that I’m going through has been experienced by many, if not most, people embarking on a new journey.

This challenge, I’ve decided, will make me a stronger writer for future books. Which, I’m happy to say, is still my passion.