Fear of having others read my writing has stalled my dreams of publishing my stories for years. After writing my current book and self-editing it four times, I finally took the leap to send it to an editor. Talk about an anxiety jump-start!

My mind swung from positive to negative thoughts when I hit the send button and relinquished my words to subjective criticism. “What’s the worst that could happen?” my positive side said in an effort to soothe me.

“She could come back and say that my manuscript is a piece of garbage and I have no business writing whatsoever,” the negative side smugly responded.

Okay, so that would be bad.

Being that I was venturing into unknown territory, I had to figure out how to extinguish the self-doubt that had been holding me back. After all, this step is necessary to reach my goal: to self-publish my debut novel by my birthday in July, 2021.

With the promise from the editor of building my skills and strengthening the story, I tapped into my logical side and highly doubted a hugely negative response. After all, I had researched such topics as story building, character arcs, interesting dialogue, and cutting unnecessary words, to name a few, to build my novice writing skills.

I finally settled on the happy medium of expecting hundreds of edits and critiques, because, after all, this is what I was paying my editor for. I’d be highly disappointed if I got my manuscript back with a note saying ‘It’s good, I like it!’

Throughout the editing time I kept in contact with the woman who ultimately leveled up my writing. I was thrilled that she liked my story! This, of course, eased my mind and boosted my confidence. It also made me realize something: I not only want the corrections made, but I want critique to ultimately become a better writer.

It was then that I realized how I resemble the main character, Amy, in my story, Switching to Light, then I thought: our lives can be littered with darkness and doubt, but in order to persevere we must find a way to let the light in. Keeping my end goal of publishing and reaching readers greatly outshined my doubts and fears.

So, after I heard back from the editor was my next step to hit the publish button? Hardly! I decided to embark on gathering another opinion, which is the step I’m on now. (Fiverr to the rescue!). Since this is the second time around, am I waiting on pens and needles again? You bet!

However, this time is allowing me to explore and write my next story: Turning to Color, which is a year in Molly’s life (Molly is Amy’s sister). If you’ve ever felt the frustration of being a parent and wanting your own time, you’ll definitely relate to her journey of putting herself first. Tune in to see what happens!

If you’ve ever been riddled with doubt to the point of it holding you back, I want you to ask yourself one question: what have you got to lose?